We've had some rather great

We've had some rather great discussions here lately about survival and it seems that anonymous users are actually outposting most of the sporkops ... anyway, I've got to tangent briefly from our discussion, but I want the next post to be still on that topic! Just consider this a quick interjection.

Many have asked me, "how do I become a SporkOP?" Well, it entails a vigorous disciplinary training and a ruthless hardcore tryout and application process entailing brutal physical exertions in one hundred degree weather in one of the most dangerous obstacle courses on earth, only rivaled by the United States military's "Hell Week."

First, applicants aren't fed for 2 days, while locked in a small claustrophobic cage. Second, 12 hours into testing, a random collection of pop songs on vinyl is placed on the spinner and started at zero volume. The music is set to crescendo slowly to approximately 95 decibels, not too harmful to one's hearing loss, but 24 hours later when it peaks, it becomes rather irritating for the last 12 hour stretch. 3 hours before finish, when switching the album back to side one track one, the album is secretly switched for one with a sizable scratch halfway through track 2, so that at the peak of Justin Timberlake's newest single, the album goes on a continual AB repeat to drive the applicant into the ground. Imagine 12 hours of this, after already having survived the first 36.

Second, applicants are forced to run, jog, or walk (the applicant's pace, as long as they don't stop) up and down the hill in my backyard 35 times. There's no required finishing time, this is merely for my own amusement.

Finally, a 90 multiple choice and 2 essay exam is given to see if they truly have what it takes.

Alright, so this isn't really true at all. Why bring it up at all? Well, we've a new SporkOP member, who's been a targeted SporkOP for some time now. Many of you think "man, why didn't i get picked" ... and well, this person was sorta in the running before most of you.

Welcome one Mr. Mark Popham. He goes by the name Markutio, but I knew him back when he was still neuromancer. Little else is known about this mysterious character, other than that he likes New York for a "silk" flower amidst a jungle of concrete, and that he's sometimes "crunchy" and other times granola. He hates 80% of his Great Books class, or at least finds most of them to be illiterate and incompetent robotic sheep, and if he were a pretty movie, he'd most definitely be The Virgin Suicides, because he's sad, but pretty, and very, very dreamy. Oh yes, and he rapes turkeys ... NAKED!

He has his own little web site, to which I'll have to let him give props too, because it'd be an invasion of his privacy to release that information in front of such a large, and incredibly harmless fan base as TheSpork.com's. I mean, a total of like 35 people might read the address, 10 or so of which probably don't know it yet! SCARY!

Spork.