ok, well since everyone is

ok, well since everyone is in the 1bw posting mood, here is mine:

Why don't bassists have groupies?

You never hear about how some teeny-bopper chick loves the bassist for such and such a band. What is wrong with bassists? I mean sure, Flea isn't that attractive, and neither is Victor Wooten for that matter. But what does that matter? I don't find Anthony Kiedis or Bela Fleck that attractive either.

So it's obviously not the looks.

Everyone loves bass, everyone. I mean what car stereo or boom box or portable CD player have you seen manufactured in the last 5 years and doesn't include a bass boost, mega bass, digital ultra bass, super duper primo A+ bass explosion or some other such feature?

So everyone loves bass

How many bassists can you name? I'm a bassists and I can probably only name 15 or 20 that are in recognized bands. Then again, how many drummers or guitarists for popularly recognized bands can you name besides Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton?

So it's not notoriety

But you never hear people talking about how great that bassist was last night or how hot he was. It's always the guy in the front who can sing and play acoustic guitar that is really ‘hot.' It's never the guy who can groove like no other on the bass (probably the reason I learned how to play guitar in my spare time). It's just the guy in the front of the band. Sting isn't a good bassist, but everyone knows who he is because he stands in front of everyone else.

So it's just who gets the most attention.

So if I put a mime in the middle of the stage, as long as he was in the middle, with a good band around him, would he have groupies?
THAT'S IT!

It's genius, that's how I'll get groupies! I'll just stand in the middle of the stage… now all I need is a band to back me up.

Hey, at least I don't play that stupid triangle thing, nothing's worse than that triangle I bet that guy couldn't pay for groupies.