December 2003 Archives

Well, it's now officially the

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Well, it's now officially the day after christmas, and it's been a while since my last post. I am not going to make this a long one, cause i'm on my little brother's computer and his spacebar is crap i have to slam the thing every time i want a new word. So I hope everyone had a great christmas, and i hope everyone is going to have a wonderful new year. Just remember, folks, we're almost to 2004, which means one more year closer to the end of the world in 2012 according to the mayan calendar.

Spork

Well, it's December 24th... Christmas eve. So...


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"


Happy Holidays and a great new year to all who visit TheSpork.Com.

Next time you use a

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Next time you use a spork, think of me.
After that, think of this fact sheet/quiz.
Finally, end thinking about this


Are You a Spork Authority?
Take this true/false quiz to find out!

1. All sporks are made of inferior plastic that bends when you try to cut food.
FALSE: Some companies do make them out of metal, wood, or rubber; no word on why.

2. Sporks are totally useless.
FALSE: You can use to scrape gum off the bottom of your shoe. They also make great pet combs, guitar picks, and fishing lures.

3. All sporks are white.
FALSE: New York public schools provide students with wacky green sporks.

4. A "foon" is the opposite of a spork.
TRUE: If you invert the bowl of a spork, you have created a "foon". Foons are great for catapulting small objects and wasting time.

5. Sporks can make noise.
TRUE: If you make a foon out of a spork, and then quickly turn the foon back into a spork, the snapping of the plastic will make a cool sound called a "spack".

6. Sporks all have the same number of tines.
FALSE: Depending on the region of the country and type of restaurant you're in, you could find sporks with two, three, or even four tines.

7. Eventually, sporks will be phased out in favor of more useful eating utensils, like the "woon".
FALSE: Sporks are here to stay, and "woons"--those little wooden paddles that come with ice cream cups--are even more useless than sporks.


note, i don't agree that sporks are useless, in fact they're a very versatile eating utensil. Someone a long time ago sent me this, and i just found it.

well its getting nearer to

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well its getting nearer to the holidays. i dont want to be culturally biased so i will just ask this:

***
What are YOU getting for your holidy celebration?
***


me? ...IPOD! yay!

I was up late tonight

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I was up late tonight talking to Summar and Fareesa (college folk, both from chitown) and thus

Summar.TheSpork.com
and
Fareesa.TheSpork.com
new:
John.TheSpork.com (one for myself)
and
Kyle.TheSpork.com (one for the roomie)

were born. Don't worry, there won't ever be content, just those pictures indefinitely ...

S.

I have been scanning prints

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I have been scanning prints and contact sheets for the past two days now. College has been far too creatively opressing and I feel like Engineering is the wrong major to keep me happy. I'm doing fine in engineering, and I'm having fun, but still. I just miss photography so much. So last night I went out into Chicago with my friends for Portillo's (which I hadn't had in YEARS) and brought the camera. I did a whole roll of Chicago night life. It probably won't be any good, but perhaps I'll score one nice print. Or two if I'm lucky. That's all Curtis said it took to be a good photographer. One good print per roll. Heh. I miss that guy so much, and I saw him a week ago.

Vietnam-Cambodia - i updated this directory with 6 of 25 sheets of black and white contact sheets, I will keep scanning each day and hopefully finish by the 11th when I go back home for xmas break Oh and the prints page is new too

What else is up ... dissatisfaction all around. I have no idea why, so I am going to work on that. Photography has been helping. I had a good time just shooting pictures last night. I will try some day stuff soon, maybe some shots of the lake? digitals of the sunrise? a tripod perhaps? Art is so much cooler than engineering.

With that I am going to bed. I read Iain's I am a college student jazz, and have come up with my own:

I am a Northwestern college student. I go to bed at 1:00AM.
I am a Northwestern college student. We drink white russians, black russians, and colorado bulldogs poured by a straight edge 18 year old but fully certified (in the city of Houston) bartender.
I am a Northwestern college student. My RA writes us up for having a classy, low key soiree with liquid refreshments because he supposedly was kidding when he said he didn't really care at the beginning of the year.
I am a Northwestern college student. My RA writes up the straight edge kid and the muslim girl (therefore straight edge) because again, he told us at the beginning of the year he didn't care and was supposedly kidding and therefore had to write everyone up, not just those in question.
I am a Northwestern college student. It's ok, because we can still laugh at our RA having screaming competitions with his girlfriend while trying to break up with her but always taking her back, oh, and we laugh too when he takes the nastiest shits in the suite lounge bathroom, EVERY FUCKING DAY.
I am a Northwestern college student. I do not kid when I say that the party scene here blows more than paris hilton.

Spork.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from December 2003 listed from newest to oldest.

November 2003 is the previous archive.

January 2004 is the next archive.

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