aah .. peer pressure. i will have to post my 1BW submission too. its long, be warned. its about .. an ex. i need a title tho.in a bad situation. I don't know how to end it."How did it all start?""I was leaving LRS Fest with Ashley when I saw Steve standing on the curb. I hadn't seen him for a couple of years so I felt obliged to say hello him. He told me he had the perfect guy for me and gave me his screen name. We talked online and on the phone for the next four days and on Friday we agreed to meet each other. When I first saw him I thought he was very unattractive and short, but I talked to him anyway because I couldn't just leave. He asked me out and I said yes.""Why did you say yes?""Because I am dumb.""Well then it is your fault. Get yourself out of it." He hung up.I went upstairs into my room to dress for my date with my boyfriend Mark to the movies. There was a pair of jeans on the floor and I didn't even bother changing my shirt and socks. I went downstairs and put on my sneakers and jacket and found my mother to take me to the movies. She was going to a dinner party and was going to drop me off first. My mother did not know I had a boyfriend, and I was not planning on telling her in the future either. We arrived and I had said my friends were already inside the theater and I got out of the car.When I walked inside I saw Mark sitting on a bench to my right. He was wearing sunglasses and a red t-shirt that I did not suited him. I was greeted with a hug and a kiss and he handed me my ticket. We were going to see "Lost Souls." It was a thriller about Satan and exorcism but I decided to watch it anyway. We walked to the back row of the theater and sat down in the middle."Is this seat ok for you?""Yes, its fine.""Are you sure? Are you comfortable?""Yes, Mark, I'm fine.""I love you, Joanna."I had decided that I was going to dump him after the movie. I had told him before that I loved him, but I knew I did not love him. I didn't even like him. He was two years older than me but acted very immature. He was Buddhist and I was Christian and he would bash my religion constantly. He was also very clingy and was very dependent on me. He was happy but I never wanted a boyfriend in the first place and I had been depressed during the whole month and it needed to end.The movie was better than I had expected. We slowly made our way out of the theater and stepped outside. It was getting dark and cold so I suggested that we walk over to Joe Muggs to get some coffee. He held my hand as we walked across the street to the bookstore / coffee store and complained about his family life. That was another thing I couldn't stand about him; he was very negative and whined a lot and it would always make me feel uncomfortable.The short walk felt like ages but eventually we arrived and walked inside. I ordered a regular mocha while Mark looked for his mother who was supposed to meet him in the bookstore. When my drink was served I sat down at the nearest table, still pondering about how I would go about ending our relationship. I knew that whatever I did, Mark would be devastated but by now I did not care. I did not like him enough to even be friends and I had begun to despise him.I met his mother for the first time that night. They found me at the table and he was with his mother and younger sister. I smiled and shook hands with his mother and Mark left to go to the restroom while I made small talk with his mother. I did not like his mother either. I had never liked Mark's physical features and he resembled his mother. She was also a negative person and was crude and made dry jokes. I did like his little sister though. She was shy and timid but very charming. She wore a pink striped dress and her red hair was in pigtails. I almost felt sorry for what I was going to do because I liked his sister. But I did not want to see Mark or his mother anymore after tonight. I bought his sister a cookie and I left them at the table while I left to look for Mark.I met him outside the restroom and he gave me another kiss. God how I couldn't stand his kisses anymore. I told him I wanted to go outside the bookstore for some fresh air. We stood a corner and I took a deep breath and told him we needed to talk. Suddenly his face went white."Oh no ... you're not going to do it too now, are you? You're not going to be like all the rest of them, are you?""Mark, I really don't think this relationship can go on any longer.""Why not? It's been fine so far. It's almost been a month and we both really love each other.""Mark, I'm only in high school. I don't even thinking in terms of love yet. I haven't been happy for the past month and it started when I began going out with you. I tried really hard Mark, to stick it out and make the best of it. I figured that if I waited a little while longer it would straighten itself out but it didn't." He began to cry."How can you do this to me Joanna? You can't do this to me! Why? Why Joanna?""I don't know ... I didn't even know you before I started dating. But after getting to know you it's just ... your personality and everything. We're too different. You're just a very negative person, Mark. You're constantly complaining about your friends and your parents and how something went wrong that day and how depressed you are. And religion. I don't like how you tell me that Christianity is wrong and that Buddhism is right. I don't want to hang out with a negative person," I probably should have rehearsed this better."But Joanna ... I love you so much ... why are you doing this to me?"I didn't know what else to say. I stared at the ground and thought how this would all be over soon and that I would go home and sleep and everything would be great without Mark in my life. I thought how he was acting like a baby and that it was convenient that we didn't attend the same school so I wouldn't have to run into him everyday. I looked up and he was still crying and I almost felt sorry for him until he grabbed me by the neck and violently shook me and screamed, "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" I immediately pushed him away and ran back to the movie theater. The last vision I had was of him still crying uncontrollably and receding into a shadowy corner and curling into a ball.I phoned my mother asking her to pick me up, but she was still at the dinner party so a friend's father came by to take me to the party. I sat in the backseat thinking about how it was finally over about the stories Mark had told me about how his past girlfriends had dumped him and what horrible people they were. That was another thing I couldn't stand about him; he would always talk about his ex-girlfriends. I would probably be a new story for him to tell his next girlfriend.goodness, what a wimp. im glad i dumped his sorry .. expletive. anybody submit fotos? i sent in these: [1] [2] [3] [4] and two more but i forget.
February 2002 Archives
ok, well since everyone is in the 1bw posting mood, here is mine:
Why don't bassists have groupies?
You never hear about how some teeny-bopper chick loves the bassist for such and such a band. What is wrong with bassists? I mean sure, Flea isn't that attractive, and neither is Victor Wooten for that matter. But what does that matter? I don't find Anthony Kiedis or Bela Fleck that attractive either.
So it's obviously not the looks.
Everyone loves bass, everyone. I mean what car stereo or boom box or portable CD player have you seen manufactured in the last 5 years and doesn't include a bass boost, mega bass, digital ultra bass, super duper primo A+ bass explosion or some other such feature?
So everyone loves bass
How many bassists can you name? I'm a bassists and I can probably only name 15 or 20 that are in recognized bands. Then again, how many drummers or guitarists for popularly recognized bands can you name besides Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton?
So it's not notoriety
But you never hear people talking about how great that bassist was last night or how hot he was. It's always the guy in the front who can sing and play acoustic guitar that is really ‘hot.' It's never the guy who can groove like no other on the bass (probably the reason I learned how to play guitar in my spare time). It's just the guy in the front of the band. Sting isn't a good bassist, but everyone knows who he is because he stands in front of everyone else.
So it's just who gets the most attention.
So if I put a mime in the middle of the stage, as long as he was in the middle, with a good band around him, would he have groupies?
THAT'S IT!
It's genius, that's how I'll get groupies! I'll just stand in the middle of the stage… now all I need is a band to back me up.
Hey, at least I don't play that stupid triangle thing, nothing's worse than that triangle I bet that guy couldn't pay for groupies.
Here's something I didn't submit to OBW, but I found in when I was cleaning out some old files... I wrote this a while ago. I know jo's read it before... it's called Clarity. I might submit it if I print it tonight, even though I know it wouldn't be selected and I'd probably just get sent to a counselor. ;)
I came to clarity recently. I realized that there is no joy in my life. In consolation, out of pity, some try to point to moments of fun, activities I enjoy. They offer this as "evidence" as to why I should be happy. Or they wonder how despite all these, I can remain so unhappy. The problem is that these are but fleeting distractions from the morass of despair that consumes my life. Every day I look around me and watch the interactions of my peers. I ponder what I observe. Then I look at myself. I find in myself someone whose presence and existence are preferred by no one over those of anyone else. I am no one's best friend. Given a choice, no one would choose my company over that of anyone else. I have nothing to offer. I find that I am unoriginal, the very definition of conformity. My personality is an amalgamation of the characteristics of those I try to associate with. When my peers change, so does my personality and behavior. I bring nothing new to the table, and as such am understandably passed up by everyone in favor of those I emulate. I know this to be true, and I know it to be no one's fault but my own. And I know nothing can be done to change inherent flaws in me. I accept it. Yet nevertheless it frightens me. It terrifies me. I look at my current situation and I fear a future of continued perpetual loneliness. It will continue to be that no one will care about me. The only reasons anyone feigns interest in my depression are either to appease their guilt and pity, or to fulfill social obligation. I am a burden, and no more. No one would choose to deal with me were it not forced, and given the opportunity, I am ignored. Common things I see my peers do for and to each other are systematically skipped when it comes to me. I am never invited. I am instead conveniently forgotten. If I overhear the formation of plans, I am sometimes included, only out of courtesy and obligation, but not because anyone really wanted me there. If I hear about something to which I wasn't invited, the excuse is made that I would have been welcome had I asked. Of course, I would not have been welcome, or else I would have been invited in the first place. I only would have been tolerated. No one has ever remembered my birthday. It's not really a big deal to me, but I see that others seem to remember and celebrate each other's birthdays. The undertaking of thinking of a gift to give, going to a store, spending money on the gift, wrapping it and presenting it, that others regularly partake for their friends is not even necessary. I would be content, in fact overjoyed if anyone simply said to me "happy birthday." So I know they acknowledge my existence, that they thought of me. Yet that simple recognition is never visited upon me. By anyone. Ever. No one ever compliments me. No one ever appreciates me. Nothing positive I do for others is ever returned in kind to me. I care, and no one cares in return. I listen, and am ignored in return. I love, and am unloved in return. I see my peers praise each other and care about each other and be kind to each other and appreciate each other and love each other. I instead receive only insults, grievances, irritation, ridicule, annoyance and scorn. And I am alone in this predicament. Everyone I know is truly appreciated in some way. Even loved and appreciated in ways they don't know. For each one of them, there are friends and others who are better for having known each individual. Such is not the case for me. I have an either neutral or negative effect on everyone. I am nothing interesting or special or unique. Had I never been, no one would be worse off. Were I to be no more, at the core, no one would be particularly affected. No holes would be left in anyone. No one would lose love. My purported accomplishments would be exaggerated, and everyone would say how sorry they are, and what a waste it was. But eventually, as always, they would move on, leaving me forgotten. Because of this fact, it is clear that my fear of loneliness is founded. No one will ever value me as they do others; I will never be anyone's everything.
Hope you liked it. It's old, I don't quite feel like that anymore, so don't worry...
--Fiend
Yeah, I submitted to One Blue Wall as well... I don't know if I'll post my things here, though. That's very nice, spork. Anyone else submit? If not, the deadlines tomorrow, so if you want to, get it in very, very soon.
--Fiend
The Privilege of Being Beautiful
It is so hard to look her in the eye. Her steady eyes are confident like her character, unafraid of what the world has to show her. Her welcoming smile never breaks and naturally seduces like the mid-afternoon sun. Her gaze is enchanting and I have to remind myself to breathe.
My mind races for words to say, those that come out stumble across my tongue in incoherency. She laughs with a warmth so inviting it is contagious. I smile, recovering from my embarrassment. Soon, the discussion ends with a disappointing silence. Her beautiful stare forces me to look away (I do not want her to think I am staring at her). But alas, she thinks the conversation is over, and walks away.
Why does she do it to me? Is it to torture me? I guess it is a privilege of being beautiful. A glance across the lunchroom table and I am already sweating. Was that for me? Or did a glimmering spark from the window catch her eye. Love is paranoia when you think about it.
Later on, I glance up at the same time she does. Both our eyes meet for one split second in time. In this moment, this quick spark of fate, a shiver runs through my body. Why can't I be with a girl like this?
But if I shared my feelings, I know what she would say. It was really nice of me to say that to her, and my words were really sweet. But she is not looking for someone right now. Girls like her can not be mean; it is not in their nature. But her considerate words wouldn't lessen the impact. I could never be the same around her again.
Big news in the spork world, not be confused with thespork world. DuPont Manual's high school just recently switched over to using ... sporks! Finally, the day has come! One manual student was quoted saying (well, actually it was me quoted saying) "This is the greatest day of my life."
We're happy to hear the influence of sporks is spreading and that soon the world will be a better place.
Spork.
yep. that would make me estatic, actually. listen to BIGmog radio everybody!- jo [with the horrendously long posts]
Final Fantasy Three for Super Nintendo was the GREATEST game ever. Nothing compares, not even Halo. I think I may try and bust out my SNES sometime in the next week and play it through, and once finished ... give it to Joanna. I'm sure that'll make her happy, although you'd think a playstation two was enough. Final Fantasy 10 should have been put on the computer, as should have nine, and eleven is going to suck. That's just me. It should all be on XBox too. But, if the world were perfect, we'd all add w, ww, www, wwww, and wwwww to our dns servers. oh well.
Spork.
I'm twisted fate! not fat! theres barely enough characters for me to input TwistedFate, and then it cuts of the E anyway! It has shamed my name of pimpality. ooo, a new word... i like it. BEWARE MY PIMPALITY!
What can I say, I'd never touched an XBox before Halofest... that's my excuse. Damnit, I need a keyboard and mouse to play games like that! When's the PC version coming out!!!!
--Fiend
| Place | Player | Score | Kills | Assists | Deaths |
| 1 | TwiztedFat | 2 | 76 | 15 | 59 |
| 2 | Spork | 2 | 29 | 9 | 31 |
| 3 | P Bass | 1 | 36 | 10 | 53 |
| 4 | Debby | 0 | 53 | 14 | 39 |
| 5 | Ghost Dog | 0 | 49 | 13 | 65 |
| 6 | Mark | 0 | 47 | 11 | 16 |
| 7 | Uvula | 0 | 18 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Fiend | 0 | 17 | 6 | 46 |
| Place | Player | Score | Kills | Assists | Deaths |
| 1 | TwiztedFat | 1 | 30 | 8 | 25 |
| 2 | Mark | 1 | 22 | 2 | 6 |
| 3 | Debby | 1 | 19 | 9 | 22 |
| 4 | Spork | 1 | 11 | 3 | 12 |
| 5 | P Bass | 0 | 25 | 6 | 29 |
| 6 | Ghost Dog | 0 | 23 | 8 | 28 |
| 7 | Uvula | 0 | 16 | 5 | 16 |
| 8 | Fiend | 0 | 7 | 10 | 26 |
| Place | Player | Score | Kills | Assists | Deaths |
| 1 | TwiztedFat | 2 | 187 | 40 | 128 |
| 2 | Ghost Dog | 1 | 122 | 33 | 150 |
| 3 | Uvula | 1 | 76 | 44 | 76 |
| 4 | Fiend | 1 | 40 | 21 | 139 |
| 5 | Debby | 0 | 91 | 38 | 68 |
| 6 | Mark | 0 | 90 | 15 | 31 |
| 7 | P Bass | 0 | 29 | 35 | 144 |
| 8 | Spork | 0 | 49 | 10 | 40 |
| Place | Player | Score | Kills | Assists | Deaths |
| 1 | Mark | 17 | 19 | 1 | 7 |
| 2 | Ghost Dog | 17 | 17 | 1 | 14 |
| 3 | Uvula | 14 | 17 | 1 | 7 |
| 4 | TwiztedFat | 14 | 14 | 5 | 12 |
| 5 | P Bass | 11 | 11 | 1 | 18 |
| 6 | Debby | 5 | 6 | 2 | 12 |
| 7 | Spork | 2 | 2 | 0 | 10 |
| 8 | Fiend | 0 | 1 | 3 | 15 |
Well, the switch over went smoothly, and I've finally fixed the local dns on thespork network so we can look at our own website! Anyway, all the @home emails were changed to @insightbb, if I ever decide not to have a life anymore I'll make a edit profile script and stuff. Also, @thespork email might be feasible in the future too. And of course, I might even try to update the site every now and then.
Halofest scores will be posted as soon as I can get up from this chair and go get them.
Admin.
HALOFEST went off wihtout a hitch, assuming we forget Twisted Fate's minor, completely forgiveable mistake. But CORTANA (aka JOHN) is too friggin lazy to post the scores! It was really great. Team Erluti r0x0red Team Jose! YES! it was so bad i actually went l337 on ya and said "r0x0rz!" John has brought dishonor upon his family name!
john u better change those '@home.com' to '@insightbb.com' because your lazy ass wont get us all '@thespork.com'
hold up, i said 'boo' ... someone slap me
notice to everyone
i am being transfered from the computer department to the media department to work with john! yeah! i know he is so excited that i get to be an ass all day long with him!
um another thing, dont ever come home smelling like smoke other then cigarrettes after uve been grounded for 4 weeks, bad idea...not that i would know...
k im leaving, um ya another thing science fair is over, yeah! but i have court tomorrow boo! well see how that goes
peace
Sony has announced NO PS3... but instead a broadband only "thing" that has no games. You just connect to the net and play braodband. It's weird and vague, but due out in '05. Just thought it was interesting...
El Chef Penguino
Why be so hard on Valentine's Day? What has it done to you? I used to be pouty about it, until I realized it's just another day to me. If I weren't forever cursed to be single, I'm sure I'd appreciate it. I mean, what kind of day is it when Richard Cooksey, whom I'm sure no one can stand, gets laid? It's a time to score major points with your lady friends, or a good time to make your move. But if you meet neither of those conditions, don't rain on someone else's parade, just live it like another day. And be sure to gratefully accept any free candy. (What does it mean when Mr. Gilbert gives John a kiss?)
But more importantly, we need HaloFest confirmation. Or else I'm going to show up with my crew whether Spork likes it or not.
Beware the Purple Harvest!
El Chef Penguino, Professional Baby Chef
So Valentine's day is over. Good, now all the couples can go back to hating each other. :)
Maybe I wish I wasn't single, but so what? It's no big deal. And hey, you can't be a pimp if you're not single... you need a pimpmobile for that. (All the Mercedes pictures, that's MY pimpmobile.)
Mr Taylor put it nicely... all the boys giving flowers to girls: "territorial pissing". Enough said.
I'm off.
--Fiend
OK, a couple of things.
First of all, god and idol Justin Frankel made the greatest statement recently about "The Fast and the Furious" which I really have to say I agree with. Read the second from the top post about it here in his .plan. He's hilarious.
Second of all, I wanted to comment on joanna's recent Valentine's Day post. I'd say I'm very similar in respects to girls, but also content with being single. I don't have time for a girlfriend right now, although I wish I did, but I definitely have a list too (shh). I also wanted to say that yes, all those people were acting all "lovey-dovey" as she put it, but I kind of thought it was pathetic and did my cynical laugh "heh." I mean first of all, if they need to have a holiday to show their affection for each other, that doesn't say much good about the relationship. Second of all they shouldn't feel the need to publicly display that affection either, I think some people take public displays of affection in the school hallways sometimes a little bit too far. Besides, Valentine's Day was just another retail consipiracy to get us to spend more money on shit we usually don't need.
Would write more, but I must go pick up my brother.
Beware of Halofest
Spork
Tomorrow's Valentine's day... here's to all the single people!
jo updated her site, go read it.
And I'm still looking for a car... my Mercedes is pimp, yes, but slow.
--Fiend
Master Chief, mission briefing.
In approximately 71 hours, you and your team will be taken to an extraction zone in the heart of Mockingbird Valley for the participation in the final battle. This tournament will exercise your leadership, skill, stamina, and intelligence in what will be forever known as ... Halofest. Should you choose to participate, instructions have been left below for preperation purposes. This information should be kept secret.
The first game at the top of your xbox hard drive list with the first save game denotes the name of your xbox. Delete it and restart the game, saving the game with whatever name you want to. This will come up in Halo as the name of your xbox.
Mission stats will be posted throughout Halofest for those who can't participate.
Cortana.