LOUISVILLE BARBIE DOLLS Anchorage Barbie

LOUISVILLE BARBIE DOLLS

Anchorage Barbie - this pretentious witch Barbie is only sold at
Oxmoor. She comes with Kenneth Cole 4 inch clunky shoes (actual
size), an assortment of real Kate Spade handbags, a take-out box
from Dietrich's and a mini BMW convertible.

Middletown Barbie - this trendy homemaker Barbie is available with
the mini-SUV or mini-minivan vehicles, gets lost easily, and has no
full-time occupation or secondary education. Available and usually
confused at Mall locations. Also available to have discrete affairs
with Ken's friends and coworkers. "Traffic Jamming Cell Phone" sold
separately.

Fairdale Barbie - this special white trash model comes in Wrangler
jeans that are 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a mini
Coors Light in the can, a Hank Jr. CD set, can spit over 5 feet, and
she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A mini pickup is also
available with Rebel flag bumper stickers and confederate flag
a-flyin'.

Midtown Barbie - this model features Ken in a sequined cocktail
dress, breast implants, press-on nails, and a really really bad wig.
Details include a to-go cup from The Connection, a rainbow scarf,
and a CD box set featuring Judy Garland, Billie Holiday and assorted
big show tunes.

Highlands Barbie - this Barbie model is sold in Ken's clothes,
features hairy armpits, tattoos, and a mini CD set from the Indigo
Girls and kd lang. A special limited edition militant penis-hating
Lillith Fair model is also available.

Bardstown Road Barbie - this Barbie model features non-functional
10-inch platforms, over 12 body piercings, 14 tattoos, a purple-green
hair color, smells like an athlete, has no occupation, and is waiting on
the curb at Ear-X-Tacy for the St. Matthews Barbie to return and pick
her up.

Shively Barbie - this thick Barbie comes with 4-inch long airbrushed
curved nails, a blonde hair weave, excessive gold jewelry and caps,
bling-bling, and is also available with the Lil' Kim SUV with
automatic weapons.

Butchertown Barbie - this Barbie was previously a Crack Ho Barbie,
but was recently displaced by a new 25 to 30-year old Barbie that is
actually a $80K/year Yuppie masquerading as a "Down & Out Artsy
Barbie." Comes with a full black wardrobe from second hand stores.

Indian Hills Barbie - This middle-aged Barbie comes complete with 45
color-coordinated Talbot's outfits, her own Mercedes SUV with built-in flask
and four empty liters of vodka in the trunk. Indian Hills Barbie can also be
purchased with an oversized '70's 8 bedroom ranch completely furnished by
Cherry House. This Barbie is easy to own because all the accessories were
bought on credit and still aren't paid for.

Southern Indiana Barbie - Don't let this little number smile, she's
missing a few teeth! Southern Indiana Barbie's deep-fried blond perm
is always in season - just don't comb it - there's not much left after those
chemicals! Optional accessories include 24 different types of stone-washed,
skin-tight pairs ofjeans and 12 tank tops and fishing pole. Southern Indiana Ken
not sold with shirt, but the 1980 Chevy Pick-up is included in the package.

--Fiend