First, one would realize that a spork IS round. Whoever thought up the idea that they're not was smoking crack. Sure they're not spherical, but nor is the earth, so there. A spork is round and don't say otherwise.
Secondly, one would realize that the spork has been around long before they started using sporks in fast food restaurants. They were making metal sporks back in that one period when they would have so much silver sitting around they'd make utensils out of it just to show off their wealth. Disgusting I know, but some great utensilman in the early days of our history as eithe americans or humans even created the spork, not Ronald McDonald.
Lastly, sporks have plenty of use. First of all, the convenience of the hybrid utensil. You don't have to switch untensils while eating, you don't have to clean 2 utensils - just one, and of course fast food restaurants (whichever the first one was) was VERY smart for adopting the idea of using sporks because it cuts the costs of making utensils for customers practically in half. Also, the metal sporks work great as forks and some even have very deep bowls for great spoon action as well. Granted the plastic ones are slightly less useful, but plastic is plastic.
Indeed, sporks come in a variety of different shapes, colors, materials, prong numbers, prong lengths, bowl depth, etc. This practically symbolizes the great diversity of this nation that most of us visitors live in (Yes, I have friends in other countries). To you spork haters who feel the need to bash such a great invention, you're just jealous that your stupid bowl with a cup handle didnt' take off as well as the spork has. You're the ones disgracing your families and should live in shame. You should do be taken out back and shot execution style just to restore acknowledgement of your family. Your honor will never come again.
Spork.
PS - You know what?? You need a role model.
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